“Did you miss me?”

If I miss my fiancé, I’ll often text him, telling him directly that I miss him. He, on the other hand, usually doesn’t tell me that he misses me in such a direct way. More often than not, he’ll ask me instead: “Did you miss me? (想我了吗? Xiǎng wǒ le ma?)”

At first, whenever someone would ask me if I had missed them, I thought that this was exactly what they were asking – “Did you miss me”? I thought it weird that someone would ask me if I had missed them, without telling me that or if they missed me.

But, as my fiancé told me quite at the beginning of our relationship, asking someone “Did you miss me?” was actually the equivalent of telling this person: “I was missing you.” It’s just a bit more indirect. If he asks me this question now, I immediately know that he has been missing me. If I reply: “I did, how about you?”, he’ll usually answer: “Of course did I miss you, or otherwise why would I ask you this question?”

P.S.: I’ve written this post when my husband and I weren’t married yet.

P.P.S.: I didn’t receive any guest posts lately and was too busy to contact people myself and ask if they’d like to write guest posts. I’m thinking of posting guest posts every other Saturday – meaning on any Saturday that I have a guest post available. If you’re interested in writing one, please contact me at chinaelevatorstories[at]gmail.com.

Has anyone ever asked you this question?

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Hi, I'm Ruth, welcome to China Elevator Stories! I have been living in Kunming and Shenzhen in the past and am now staying in Northeast China with my Chinese husband and our baby and toddler son. Join us on our journey bridging worlds!


  1. I’m the one who usually gets asked ‘did you miss me’, haha. I’m less emotional when it goes to my husband than he is to me.
    On the other hand my father in law said it once to his mom and never again. Why? ‘If something changes since that time, I will let you know’ 😀

  2. Oh my, after three years I still didn’t get that, hahah. Thanks so much for enlightening me 😀 I always found it a bit strange, I felt exactly like you but I never much thought about it, thanks for teaching me something new!

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